5 Weirdest Greek Gods and the Weirdest Myths from Ancient Greek

by Weirdo | Last Updated: April 6, 2021

Some of the myths you’ll find out there are pretty unusual when it comes to Greek mythology. You will meet with the weird Greek gods and their stories behind their behaviors.

Goddesses born out of clamshells, Hades kidnapped women, and many stories of unethical husbands of gods (Zeus, you know yourself). But once you get beyond the more well-known theories, things tend to get even weirder.

Yes, the freaky gods on Mount Olympus have a strange, extreme streak that can shake even the most open-minded historian. 

This is not to suggest that these myths of Greece are not amusing. I mean, come on, it is just oodles of fun to learn about gods impregnating clouds or humans being doomed for eternity, right?

Just bear in mind that these stories were intended for the Greeks as life lessons – but for a couple of these, the context is either pretty vague or just too odd to imagine. 

But, if you are up for a little bizarre mythology lesson, read on. And if you take two big points away from these stories, we hope they are as follows: Don’t push the gods’ buttons, cause they’re douchebags!

Sciron 

Of course, the gods were not the only jerks. Once upon a time, a guy called Sciron was there who loved to rob people. His way of doing this was to call travelers on the road, calling for help to wash their feet.

He would knee them in the chest as they tried to help, driving them off a cliff. There would be a giant tortoise at the base of the cliff that would consume the bodies, or the still-living ones if the fall did not kill them. 

Over and over again, he did this, murdering countless people. Hero Theseus soon got bored of the antics of this man and found him away. It’s said that he pushed him off the cliff when he discovered Sciron, which I guess most people would deem a fairly rational thing to do considering the circumstances. 

Pan 

Pan is, generally, a kind of nasty man. Some stories say Penelope, the wife of Odysseus, gave birth to him, while others say it was a nymph, or even Aphrodite herself.

He was known for tending to his cattle, and occasionally having relationships with him, and for trying to get to practically every woman he ever laid eyes on. 

One such nymph, Syrinx, was not always very open to these advances, and he escaped from Pan. The creepy half-goat half-man, pursuing her across the jungle, pursued her. Syrinx finally got so fed up with this, that she got a river god to turn her into something that Pan couldn’t lust after a bunch of reeds. 

Pan was so determined to get her, though, that he wanted to take a bit of her everywhere with him. He used the reeds to make a flute, which is known as the pan flute today. It also goes to show that stalker-like activity spans back thousands of years.

Cronos

A pantheon of Greek gods who came before Zeus, Cronus was the master of the Titans. Uranus, the god, and Gaia, the goddess, were the ancestors of all the Titans, and their preeminent and jealous son was Cronus. 

Gaia asked her remaining children to castrate Uranus while Uranus hid some of Gaia’s children in a vast abyss called Tartarus. To execute the deed, the delusional Cronos stepped forward. He squirted the genitals of his fathers and threw them into the water, where the goddess, Aphrodite, bubbled up and spawned them. 

Cronos planned to re-imprison them, claim the throne of Uranus, and marry his niece, Rhea, after liberating Gaia’s children. One of the most popular gods of the Greek mythology, we can count him as one of the weird Greek Gods too. (which included the Cyclopes).

Tantalus  

Tantalus will take ambrosia from the gods and send it to friends of his brotherly boys. So, after the gods had found out, he arranged a feast for them… made from the ashes of his son, whom he had slain.

Most prominently, as a sacrifice, Tantalus gave up his son, Pelops. To measure their omniscience, he hacked up Pelops, roasted him, and served him at a feast for the gods. The gods were aware of the menu’s grotesque existence, so they did not approach the offering; only Demeter, devastated by the absence of her daughter, Persephone, ate part of the boy’s shoulder absentmindedly.

Hecate 

(Hekate) is a Greek mythological goddess who was capable of both good and evil. Witchcraft, sorcery, the moon, doorways, and creatures of the night, such as hell-hounds and ghosts, were particularly associated with her. It’s not a surprise for her to be a weird Greek God.

She is often portrayed holding a torch to remember her link with the night and reflecting her role as the protector of crossroads in sculpture with three faces. 

Hecate is the daughter of Perses and Asteria, according to Hesiod in his Theogony, making her the sister of Phoebe and Coeus, the Titans. On the other hand, Euripides states that Leto is her mother. She is believed by other authors to be the daughter of Zeus and Demeter, Aristaion or Darkness.

In certain traditions, the goddess was also identified with Demeter and even assimilated to her. In certain traditions, the goddess was also identified with Demeter and even assimilated to her.

Check weird Roman Gods and Goddesses to explore more about mythology.

Conclusion: 

The inhabitants of Mount Olympus represent an effort by the ancient Greeks to describe the chaos of the world by human nature: ruthless and fickle, passionate and vindictive, greedy and insecure, petty and insane.

Thus, these gods and goddesses are manifestations of human solipsism, like any religion conceived before and after.

The direction of Western language and narrative has been indelibly affected by the tales of their wars, bickering, and sexual conquests. We also listed the weirdest Hindu gods which can be even more weirder than the Greek gods.